Spaghetti Carbonara

There’s something undeniably comforting about a classic pasta dish. Only a few of them are as beloved as the rich and creamy Carbonara. Originating from Rome, this dish is a masterpiece of simplicity. A handful of ingredients come together to create a creamy, rich meal that satisfies every craving.

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At its core, Carbonara is all about balance and patience. The saltiness of guanciale, the creamy silkiness of eggs and cheese, the heat of freshly cracked black pepper, and the perfect bite of pasta. What makes it the best dish? It’s quick to make and doesn’t require fancy or expensive ingredients. Only requiring good technique and a taste for bold, simple flavours.

Disclaimer: this is nothing for the weak hearted ones out there. If you're sensitive to violence and blood, please skip this section: skip.

”Cover your ears, quick!” I said with a trembling voice. “Get in the closet, he can't hurt you here!” I lied, but as long as he did not see her, he would not hurt her. Like a dog, he only acknowledges you when you are standing right in front of him. Like the dog he is.

It's been hours of yelling and cursing. The yelling becaming louder and louder.

… “Hey, Let's watch some more videos on YouTube, let me get the earphones!” I closed the closet doors as she sank into her show…

As I closed the doors, the room next door fell silent, interrupted by a loud slap. 

And another.

A desperate scream and plead to stop.

And another hit, not a slap, but a fist.

Another scream. Things around falling.

Another scream, plead.

A thud. She is on the floor.

More hits. One after another.

Silence.

Then I heard it, the steps closing in on the room we were in. The banging on the door, getting more and more aggressive. Until the door gave in. And his big, oversized body hovering over mine. As he raised his hand, everything went black.

I had enough

The prayers will not be answered. They never will…

A week had passed, and the bruises had not yet healed. But it did not matter, there would be new ones before these were gone. As I was reminiscing about my body before it was covered in bruises, his voice broke the silence at the dinner table. “So you are turning 16 in two weeks.” He said, looking at me. “Time to get the hell out of my house, bitch!”. A menacing smile appeared on his face, “you're old enough to leech off some other sucker”, tracing my body as if it is an object. Disgust ran through my body. I want to leave so badly, but how could I leave my little sister here, with him? She was only 10.

…Something needed to be done…

The following night, I came up with a plan. I already did most of the house chores, so why not cook too? I tried my best and made many tasteful dishes. But the pasta was his favourite. So, I perfected it, especially for him, adding extra ingredients and making sure it was perfect…

The two weeks had almost passed. And I had perfected my dish. With the right amount of garnish, I put the plate down in front of him, while he kept insulting everyone at the table. Mocking me for trying to “suck up” with my cooking. The insults continued during the dinner - showing even more what a horrible person he is. By the end of the dinner his insults died down, he became weirdly quiet.  As we were cleaning up, he stayed in his chair, no noise coming from him. Then we heard a thump. We all stopped what we were doing and looked up, his limb body had fallen from the chair. Nobody moved a muscle, nobody called an ambulance, just looked in shock. I was trying to hide my pleasure-filled smile but couldn’t. Not that anyone noticed. Eventually, my mom called an ambulance, but it was too late. Finally, he was gone. 

After spending hours in the hospital and many conversations with nurses and police officers, the doctors pronounced his death as unexpected, but natural. However, even if they looked, they would not find poisonous hemlock in his system…

No matter if you are cooking for yourself, to impress guests, or suck up to parents, this recipe will guide you to Carbonara perfection. So grab your ingredients, embrace the process, and get ready to enjoy one of Italy’s finest dishes!

Ingredients:

200g pasta - 100g of pasta per person

200g of guanciale or bacon or for a vegetarian option: tempeh. More can be added if you so wish

2 eggs

At least 70g parmesan cheese, but you can add as much parmesan cheese as you wish.

Salt 

Pepper

Method:

Preparing the ingredients:

1. Prepare a pot for boiling the pasta and turn up the heat.

2. Start by preparing guanciale/tempeh, cutting it into appropriate pieces. 

3. Put the guanciale/bacon/ on a cold pan and heat it up.

While the guanciale slowly starts to fry, prepare the sauce. If you use tempeh for a vegetarian option, don’t forget to add some oil when you fry the tempeh

Note: Remember to flip the guanciale/tempeh pieces for an even cook and watch out for overcooking!

Sauce:

1. Crack two eggs into a bowl and add a good amount of Parmesan cheese. Once the desired amount has been added, add pepper and start whisking the egg/cheese mix.

The sauce should be whisked so it becomes even and somewhat smooth- thick liquid. 

2. Once the sauce is ready, your guanciale/tempeh should be done as well, and the water in the pasta pot should be boiling. 

3. Turn the heat to very low on the guanciale/tempeh pan. Alternatively, remove the guanciale and keep the pan with the fat in it.

Pasta:

1. Boil your pasta according to the instructions. Once ready, remove the water, but keep at least one cup of the pasta water, as you will need the starchy water.

2. Now place the boiled pasta in the same pan as the guanciale/tempeh and mix it at a low heat. If the guanciale/tempeh was removed, return it to the same pan with the pasta. 

3. Once mixed, add the sauce and mix at a low heat! This is really important as otherwise the eggs will cook through and become hard lumps.

4. Slowly raise the heat to make the sauce cook and slowly add the pasta water you saved in case the sauce is too solid.

5. Continue to slowly cook, add pasta water, and raise the temperature until you reach the desired consistency in the sauce.

6. Taste it and add additional salt and pepper if needed.

7. Serve immediately and grate extra parmesan cheese on top of each dish.

Enjoy!